Lessons learned

The girl who goes alone says with her body

the world is worth the risk.

-Elizabeth Austen "The Girl Who Goes Alone" 

So I took a finals week hiatus from blogging, since I had, hands down, the craziest week of my year so far. And a thesis due. And finals. Luckily I was going to blog about health and safety tips anyway, because I just learned some hard lessons. I got really sick and I got my wallet stolen (amazingly these were entirely separate incidents.) Getting your wallet stolen is stressful, humiliating and really scary at the best of times, but three days before you leave the country it is crisis-level badness. Here's what happened:

I was in a coffeeshop near UW which shall go unnamed but that you can be Sure I will not be back to. I ordered my coffee, I set my stuff down at a table and my backpack on a chair and turned around, walked across the room to get my americano and came back to no wallet. To compound my mistake, I simply told myself that I hadn't left my wallet on the table with my phone, after all, I had just put it back in my bag (which, of course, I didn't actually verify.) Anyway, a few hours later my bank calls to ask if I meant to charge $788 on Gucci.com. (I am so glad my bank knows me well enough to know I don't buy designer.) A bunch of paperwork, a number of phone calls, and at least one panic attack later, I'm fine. I'll have the money refunded in a few days and I didn't lose anything that can't be replaced. Getting a debit card shipped to me in Morocco might not be my (or, for that matter, my mother's) idea of fun, but I will be OK. (Or so I keep telling myself.) Here is what you can learn from me:

Never ever ever EVER walk away from you valuables. Even for a second. If they are not both in sight and within reach they can be stolen. If it happens when you're outside of the US the inconvenience (and danger) is even worse than what I'm experiencing and I can tell you it's no good at all. Just keep your money, passport, ID, whatever you can't live/travel easily without, on your person at all times.

Trust your instincts. I knew my wallet was gone and I didn't trust the nagging voice enough to just take ten seconds and check. It would have been easy. This goes for personal safety, as well. We all have animal brains that respond to danger and those feelings should be trusted. If you don't feel right about a situation or individual, walk away.

Stay calm. This becomes impossible at times but the calmer you are, the better choices you will make, the more clearly you'll be able to communicate with others (remembering how to say "my wallet was stolen" in a foreign language might be hard but saying it while hyperventilating is probably harder.) This brings me to my main personal safety tip which is:

DONT BE A SICK GAZELLE. Thieves and rapists and other criminals are like predators. They look for the prey that is sick or alone or easy to pick off from the herd. Don't let it be you. You're already going to stand out as a tourist, which will make you a target, but there is a lot you can do to avoid further drawing the wrong kind of attention. If you must be alone, fine, but try to travel with at least one other person, particularly at night, particularly if you're female (sorry, ladies.) Be aware of your surroundings. Look at the people around you and trust your feelings. Is some one watching you too closely? Is some one following you? I'm not saying you have to be constantly on alert, but being distracted, intoxicated or simply oblivious is a really good way to end up with your wallet stolen (sigh.)


Don't do drugs. Sorry guys, but if you're doing drugs not only are you putting yourself in a compromised mental and physical state, but you're also willingly engaging with some one else who doesn't mind breaking the law and who knows you have money to buy drugs. You are a Big. Sick. Gazelle. I don't mean to sound like your DARE officer or anything, but if you do drugs in a foreign country and something bad happens I officially do not feel sorry for you. Just don't do it.

Another, more common way to look like an easy mark is to look lost. Particularly panicky and lost. If you are lost, take a deep breath, stay calm, and go to the nearest shop or restaurant to ask for help or to check your map while you have a drink or something. Don't wander the streets frantically, don't walk while reading your map and if you must ask some one on the street for directions look for some one official.

I learned this when I went to the Netherlands as an 18-year-old. I was looking for a specific English-language bookstore and a nice man saw that I was lost and offered to help me. Then he insisted on buying me a coffee. Then he insisted on walking me through a beautiful park on the opposite side of Amsterdam. Then he tried to kiss me. When I pushed him off me, he insisted on walking me back to my hostel. He waited outside the next morning. I planned on staying in and hiding but a friendly hostel employee told him off. This was an incredibly mild and mostly sort of embarrassing incident but it could have been a lot worse.

This brings me to my next tip: Being safe is more important than being nice. It can be difficult to readjust your perception of "normal" behavior in a foreign culture. That's fine. But if you are getting a bad feeling, is some one is being too nice for no reason, if they try to take you some where on your own or want to know where you are staying, don't sacrifice your personal safety because you want to seem polite. Avoid giving out too much information; where you are staying, if you are alone, how long you are going to be around, anything that isn't relevant and could compromise your safety. As hard as it can be to see beggars on the street I also have to advise that you do not give them money. Taking out your wallet and showing you have cash in the middle of the street is never a good idea.

Ok, for the ladies: Don't respond to cat calls. Don't make eye contact, don't look up, don't talk back, don't say or do anything. Ignore them and continue walking. If you get a very persistant or harassing behavior find a friend, authority figure or the nearest shop and ask for help. One trick that has worked for me in the past is a fake wedding ring. I actually used this in Jerusalem when a guy at Damascus gate followed me around the old city asking for a massage. Finally I strung together enough Arabic to say "My husband wouldn't like it." I'm not saying this works every time but for most men telling them you have a boyfriend is like saying "I can be talked into it," and telling them you have a husband is "I'm some one else's and you'd better back off." American women are sometimes believed to all basically be Paris Hilton. It's just our reputation, and based in fact or not people will make assumptions about you once they find out you're American. Prepare yourself for this and don't be a sick gazzelle.

Finally, if you're going to carry something for self-defense like pepper spray or a knife please make sure it is legal where you are going. I really don't advise this, as any kind of weapon can be seen as a provocation. (Also I'm super afraid I'd pepper spray myself while looking for my cell phone or something.) There are plenty of totally normal things you might want to carry anyway that can also work in a pinch. Keys, water bottles, etc. For me, an aluminum water bottle is my best friend when I walk home at night. I don't have to threaten any one, just move the bottle to my hand where any one can see it.

Last item: A decoy wallet. If you're mugged, you take the empty wallet out of your purse/bag and throw it a little ways off. The mugger will most likely go for your wallet and not you, giving you time to run. (PS this is a good call even if you're being held up for your real wallet. Throw it and run. Money is not as important as your life.)

Finally, try to learn as much as you can about how emergency services work where you are going. Can you call whatever that country's equivalent of 911 is? if not, who can you call? Try to learn at least enough of whatever the local language is to say where you are and that you need help. Write these phrases down and carry them with you because when you're distressed/afraid you probably won't remember.

Ok, I'll be posting my full itinerary later tonight, but I am on a plane first thing tomorrow morning and for now I must pack. Travel safe!